Sins of the Father; Page 6
Yeah, Bob showing up in the nick of time? That might not have actually been a good thing…
This weekend is Valentine’s Day. Normally I spend it working at Katsucon but I’m not going this year so I’m at a loss as to what to do. Husband and I don’t really like going out to crowded places so we’ll probably just stay home and watch anime. We just started Kill la Kill and I really like it, despite the blatant fanservice. It looks like it has the same director as Gurenn Lagann, which I’m a huge fan of, and I love over the top dramatic fight sequences so it’s perfect.
I’m also seeing a lot of hype for the Fifty Shades of Grey movie. I know many people are calling for everyone to boycott the movie because of it’s romanticizing an abusive relationship, but sadly that kind of relationship is extremely common in romance novels. It isn’t just Stephanie Meyer or E L James’ fault for doing so; thousands of other romance novels do the exact same thing when it comes to relationships (which is one of the reasons I tend to dislike romance novels in spite of liking a good romance). I personally don’t understand the appeal of these relationships but I think in order to solve the problem, we can’t just blame the popular novels of the romance genre. We have to look at the romance genre in general and discover why many women think this is romantic, why they’ve been taught this, and hopefully figure out a way to change it so these kinds of romances diminish in romance novels in general.
I think part of the paradox in romantic fiction comes from when you’re in a healthy relationship, you want to start slow. Be as open and communicative about your feelings and needs as possible, and be mature enough to recognize when you and someone else aren’t a good fit for each other. But oftentimes to tell an intriguing story in a book/movie, it’s just boring to watch if you move slowly and spell everything out for the viewer. We want conflict and mystery and suspense, and those all turn out to be really bad things in real relationships.
So yeah, I haven’t been supporting romantic fiction for a while. Like you, I enjoy romantic elements of a well-told story, but I don’t really think it should be a genre the same way sci-fi or action or comedy are, because we don’t know how to keep romantic fiction separate from reality as a culture.
Yeah. I also remembered something earlier this week too. I was reading a brief article in one of my Parents magazines about why mothers love Fifty Shades of Grey and I remembered that the main audience for many romance novels tend to be married housewives. I read a book studying voracious readers of romance once and the author posited that most of these readers, who come from and have very traditional households, are drawn to romance because it is the only time they have time for themselves. Many of the women feel that their own needs are subservient to their children and spouses, in that order, but in a romance novel the woman’s needs and feelings comes first, and so they vicariously live through that fantasy for a couple hours of a day. Plus the added bonus of vicariously feeling super special as well.
So for at least part of the audience, this is very much a fantasy and they recognize it as such. The problem comes when young people, especially women, believe this is the best way to have a relationship. Or that abusers will magically change because the women are so super special.